6 Tips for Dating After Divorce

Are you ready to get back out there and give your heart, and love, another chance? If the answer is yes, here are six tips that will help you get back onto the dating scene emotionally and help you find the love you deserve.

couple holding hands

1. Date Yourself First

As the saying goes, you can't love someone else until you love yourself. Dating yourself may seem like a strange idea, but your divorce or separation will have likely led to a cascade of changes to both your internal mindset and daily routine. Acclimating to these

new conditions may require more time and attention than normal. Choose a task for your free time that will help you become reacquainted with yourself, whether that’s reawakening old passions or finding new ones.

So take yourself out to a movie, dinner or whatever makes you happy! Learn to love the new you that you are as an individual, rather than part of a couple.

2. Understand What You Want (And Need!) From Your Next Relationship

According to verywellmind.com , to date successfully, you should have a solid idea about what you are looking for. Before you begin dating, you should feel secure in knowing:

  • Your red flags and deal-breakers for future partners

  • Qualities you prefer in others

  • Methods and styles of communication you do and don't jive with

  • Whether or not you're OK with someone who is currently raising children

  • An updated version of your type, factoring in your current age

  • Whether you want a serious relationship or not

  • How you feel about dating someone who is dating other people

3. Don't Rush It

You need to take time to do the grief and healing work that’s necessary after your divorce before you even begin to think about dating. Letting yourself feel all of the feelings that come with a divorce will help you recover in the long run. Even though it might feel uncomfortable to bring up negative emotions, healing, and eventual dating, can’t start without allowing yourself to completely recover from your divorce.

If you are ready to get back out there, don't feel the need to rush into a serious relationship with the first person you meet. Keep it light and casual until you feel like you've met the right person to take the next step with. Taking things slowly in a new relationship gives you the needed space to do any personal work as you go.

couple together

4. Keep An Open Mind

After your divorce, you can slip back into your comfort zone of someone that may act like your ex, even if they have some of the same personality traits that led to a divorce in the first place. However, keeping an open mind to those you meet may help you see where your ex may have lacked in the past. Don't have to force yourself to go out with people you know you probably won't get along with, but straying a bit outside of your comfort zone may allow you to meet someone you'd never considered before now.

5. Don't Try To Hide Your Divorce

Previous marriages are a difficult topic of discussion, especially while trying to navigate a new relationship. While bringing up a history of divorce might feel like a disaster waiting to happen, discussing your past relationship is an important way for you and your partner to understand each other. Plus, your partner will likely want to know how your past will influence your relationship with them. Being transparent can help your partner know that you have nothing to hide, and show that you’re ready to start again, regardless of your past.

couple sitting together

6. Trust Your Gut

Your instincts, and the feelings that accompany them, are often the truest guides to what is in your best interests. Gut feelings can help you navigate through relationships and whether someone is the right one for you. You will still need to consider all the evidence to support your gut instinct before making the best decision, but rusting your instincts in a relationship is always a good idea.

For more articles about post separation and divorce, check out our blogs.

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